ADELAIDE WEATHER WATCH

AS THE GOOD FOLK OF CUMBRIA HAVE BEEN NEARLY WASHED AWAY & EVACUATED BY HELICOPTER, HERE IN ADELAIDE IT'S BEEN A MUCH DIFFERENT STORY. AFTER NEARLY 2 WEEKS OF MID 30 BAROMETER ACTION THE MERCURY TOPPED THE SCALES ON THURSDAY AT A MASSIVE 43 DEGREES, WHICH FOR THOSE OF YOU OUT THERE IN FAHRENHEIT LAND IS 109.4.
CATASTROPHIC FIRE ALERTS WERE PUT IN PLACE, SHARKS WERE COMING IN CLOSE TO SHORE, RED BELLIED BLACK SNAKES WERE TAKING DIPS IN PEOPLES SWIMMING POOLS, PUBS WERE DOING A GREAT TRADE,PEOPLE WERE FEINTING IN THE STREET & DROWNING IN RIVERS, AND VIRTUALLY EVERYBODY ADOPTED A SCUFF WHEN WALKING. THANKFULLY FOR ME, I AM A PROUD OWNER OF A HAT AM WELL VERSED ON ALL THINGS RAY MEARS, SO I BUILT A SHELTER OUT OF EMPTY BEER CANS, DONNED MY HAT & DRANK AS MUCH LIQUID AS POSSIBLE. ONLY LEAVING THE SHELTER FOR A  PAT CASH, A DOGS EYE & MORE TOOHEYS LONG NECKS. MR. MEARS WOULD OF BEEN PROUD.
AS I WRITE THIS TODAY THE TEMPERATURE HAS DROPPED TO A COMFORTABLE 23 DEGREES WITH A NICE OFFSHORE NOR WESTER COMING IN OFF OF GULF ST VINCENT. AND THIS MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO VISIT THE BOTTLE SHOP/PUB TOO EARLY IN THE DAY AND I WON'T BE WAVING MY ARMS AT FLIES LIKE A PUMPED UP WEST INDIES TAIL-ENDER.                    
NOR WILL I REVERT BACK TO THE HOME BOY SCUFF, WHICH TO BE HONEST, MADE ME LOOK LIKE MY ARSE HAIRS HAD BEEN TIED TOGETHER.